time warp

11.07.10 Only in Vegas will you be encountered by a group of Mexicans handing out business cards/flyers of adult services. Let me rephrase the last sentence... only in vegas will you be groped by a posse of mad money needing spics forcing smutty ass titty cards into your hands and numbers of numbers of prostitution services. I dont mean to sound sexist or racist, but i can only put in three words. only in vegas. picture a free capitalist society where the existence of such funds is clearly disposable and inexhaustible combined with the innate human quality of of greed located in one of the worlds greatest countries and my friends, you have las vegas. The weather can be described in few words. Nice, Cold, Hot, raining, but in this artificial indulgence of our collective fantasies, it doesn't matter, because time is neither a force to be reckoned with, palace with no windows, no clocks, no life. i figure thats why some many people can settle for nothing less than las vegas. viva las vegas. good bless america.

10.05.10

theres a lot of ways to do things and unfortunately for me, i dont most times but, as redundant as the next line sounds, i believe that it is time that i quit smoking. the cravings arise erratically and almost illogically occur because of a wisp of heavy cigarette smoke saunters past my nostrils and in that moment i picture myself slowly dragging the last breaths of a marlboro red. The one sweet meaningful kiss that is my pull from the eternal end that is this cigarette, hopefully will be my last. In this midst of indecision, i feel that i cannot continue to live life barely breathing to grasp its full potential and all the land ill never see if i continue this terrible habit.

Every 8 bucks that i shell out, excuse my vernacular, ill never be able to drive my dream cars.

3.2.11

ive been trying to quit for months now for two long, ive found an alternative quitting plan that seems to make sense. smoke if you want to. dont if you dont. works for me. i can attribute this longing feeling deep inside to someone i lost some time ago. we use to share cigarettes like it was treasure, before they were 8 bucks a pack, before issues of health were even an issue. that last cigarette before the night ended after a long strenuous night of consuming various types of alcohol. Its one of those ingredients hard wired into my physiological and physical need for studying boring things. i remember it clearly, the cumulative days spent outside of the emmanuel college library of the fours years ive spent there. the first puffs i remember taking casually and continuously were on that very campus chasing girls in head. funny how things change, funny how things don't. the most cliche of all endings. fuck.

luv

the luv for $$$$$, the luv for fame,
the attempt to make great a name,
all these qualities i believe i possess,
if in court, i would attest,
that happiness lies in greed,
exploiting others wants and needs.

aabbcc

classic poem writing

fuck, my white collar corporate rhymes.

Well, August comes rolling along and I can't begin to explain the more memorable moments I've had in this wonderful month in the setting I call Boston, Massachusetts. How to recap the summer thus far? I've reached my record of not showering for 3.5 days. I rode a moped 50 plus miles. I got robbed. I came up with some brilliant ideas at those moments later to realize they sucked. I've been visiting grad schools to be told that I do not have the experience necessary to enter their current positions. Well, I can say 1 of 2 things about this matter, but will refuse to type text because it will be insinuating and disrespectful. But back to August, the summer breeze in this month is one of my all time most enjoyable memories of riding by bike back buzzed from some obscure location back to my bed for my face to meet my pillow after being caressed for who knows how many hours of constant play by the gentle breeze. The moments looking at my feet pedaling and questioning them if they will take me home, will they please, and the times when the sidewalks knew exactly my intentions and led me to the lighted beacon on hillside. these are just flowery ass ways to say that I knew those streets like the back of my hand but what i wonderful summer i've had in Boston.

I can't really compare nor can anybody compare the skyline of their favorite cities. For it holds a special place in every person's respective 'symbolic' hearts. whenever i cross the mass ave. bridge to go to cambridge, my eyes flutter from left to right as I try with every movement, and every second that passes by, try to smother, fondle, and touch everything I see with my eyes. It really is something special, to see the sailboats flutter in the distance and all the white people running along storrow. but i am ready for a change, I have some plans inside my head that could make a insane person sane. But while I am at it, I'll share my other sweet spots in and around the greater boston area.

The alleyway behind bodega - 11 clearway st. boston ma
right side of the entrance, proceed, turn right continue for one city block.

chickatawbut rd, blue hills, quincy ma
follow the road from braintree to canton
swerve and turn along the curvy road and stop when you see parking spots
a beautiful skyline awaits

seafood district
south boston
right at harpoon brewery
continue past 1 stop sign, take left
another beautiful skyline awaits

East boston
somewhere

rooftops
allover

daah, im done

SEMA vegas 2010. Seafood expo. California.

my tees

Oh, my plain white tees, my poor delicate white tee shirts,

how you have suffered just as I have the staggering heat of summer,

and the informalities that come with such conditions, a bare stain of human odor,

perspiration and labour, an early sunshine yellow poking through the clouds,

my poor white tees, enduring the contrast of oil, of dirt, of soot.

of dirty and wet hands when there are no more paper towels,

of a face washed and rewashed, of time and grime

my poor white tees, how you have served me well

just to be some plain white tees, i thank you.

See...

It's been a while since I've written, sat down and reflected on whatever it is I am doing, plan to do or want to do.  I come to realize that after these short 22 years, that I have accomplished little to no effect anything I can say that I am proud enough to boast about nor sing to every person I meet whom I can gain their influence.  I've traveled a bit and it hasn't changed me a bit, I've driven, and walked and gotten lost along the way and sure, my navigation skills have been sharpened a bit, my openness for cultural differences have spanned wider, and my ability to stand aside and act as an observer in this beautiful world have evolved tenfold as I continue in this existence.  The travel bug has caught me again and it seems that it has no rationale of when and where I should be, but I should be moving at a deliberately steady walk along concrete, and gravel.  I've talked about this picturesque journey for months on end, to strangers I barely know and to dear friends I've rediscovered again and again.  My heart is still not up to the challenge nor my wallet.  But I have been trying, mind those insignificant distractions that have been able to hinder me such as money, time and family.  I can't wait to be the biggest badass you'll ever meet.

has it really been one year, since ive kissed your lovely face, and asked you 'what are you so afraid of?' and we became fearless from that moment on. our past and our future synthesized to a realm of sweet nothingness and we are present to each other.

a year passes without hesitation and i can barely stop to smell the roses, the lilacs, the heavenly scent of a not too overwhelming perfume. another year passes and i still miss you the same, just like i always, have, will, and do. 

fuck my emo ass self.

i dont stay up as much as i used to, i dont smoke weed like i used to, i dont drink like i used to. but there is one thing that i have been dying to say, or rather release, "damn it feels good to wear a blue collar." to know the value of earned money. paperwork is fine, it moves the world more or less, in legal tender, or binding contracts or subpoenas and what have you. but nothing tops the sleep you take after a long day of smelling like shit. no ironed shirts, no nice pants to wear, no uppity white man boss to impress. i have to be honest, this mechanic business, im no good at, and this managing business, im getting the hang of it, but i must say i love it, automobiles, vietnamese people, people in general, dealing with the commonfolk, everyday folk, rich, poor, and the overly oppressed middle class. this repair business has gotten me solving a very large jig saw puzzle, one so big, ive never encountered anything so grand in scale and minute in detail. everyday, i hope that this puzzle gets finished sooner rather than later but in the big picture, the more i stay, the more ll learn. thats a simple fact of the learning spirit of humankind.

lately, ive been girl crazy, not in a misogynistic fashion. like i gotta pound every piece of meat i see, but every time ive seen a beautiful woman, ive told her, 'youre beautiful', not 'youre cute' or 'youre hot.'
mind yall im not doing these things to sweep her off her feet, whoever she may be, or steal her heart before she even knew it, but because she was, in my eyes and in my mind 'beautiful', and if i didnt say anything, i would regret the inaction, the apathetic attempt to do what we were here to do, reproduce, live happily. you never know until you try, a motto im sure weve all heard.

ive also been reading some other bloggers around, i must say this as constructive criticism, your obscure titles to posts piss me off, followed usually by a unoriginal picture. im not hating in any sense, and theoretically, a picture is worth a thousand words, but goddamn narcissism and pseudo-originality get in the way of making your blogs worth reading.

construction management. been really interested in construction lately, something i think i can do well. i possess an attention to detail most individuals do not. but im lazy as fuck. building houses, buildings roads, and hsit have always been an interst of mine since highschool. architecture even, but running shop, and building buildings would be dreamy. 1) cuz you make bank, bro. 2) such a tribute to civilization, here you are, making a mark in society, in your neighborhood, in your time, by pouring cement, and cutting stone, and amassing beautiful, enduring structures that will stand til you fall into the ground in which these edicifices arose. you create joy, sadness, discipline, opportunity for peoples of all colors and creeds, but without it, the people, are at a diservice.

goddarn, one more issue before i leave, i really really really want that new skyline. 45k. 2010 nissan skyline crossover. or 70' datsun skyline gtr, or a fucking cadillac! or an f150, or a jeep wrangler. i just want to be a badass with badass cars.
and cruise to the cape to enjoy sushi and a beer.