tfacemillionaire

Geez, I miss you. I have been saying this to myself or rather you for so long now. I've lost count of how many three worded sentences ive uttered that include the words I, MISS, and YOU, since you've been away from me or you from me. I know that switching the order of things doesnt seem that important but i told you once, that its hard to really know what i mean, so i try to be as clear as i can be always. I'm sad that you werent here to embrace this autumn. not even with me but you missed a beautiful fall last year, and i remember the days, and the nights. and the evenings, and the moon and the stars. I remember getting absolutely ripped on a busride home and writing you a beautiful letter that i cant seem to remember by heart now. all these letters, i left with you, the rough drafts, the drafts, the scribbles, the serenades, the excessive use of alliteration and simile to metaphor and all this nerd shit you would have loved to drown in. but i do miss you, and theres no one else i can tell but you, and i cant tell our peers, and friends this because they are still here, because i can tell them 'i love you' so ive decided to eternally etch my mourning, wanting self on the interwebs. i saw your email online one day, and became suspicious and asked who it was with no response. you truly had a caring heart because through all our ups and downs and turnarounds, you never avoided me, never mad me feel unwanted, or hated, rather supportive in all the wrong places. maybe i wasnt ready. im sure you know that i have never stepped inside a church for emotional or spiritual reasons but the day you left, i couldnt find comfort anywhere, i'm sure you would have loved the scene of the young asian male walking to the local church with tears running down his cheeks, rocking the baddest to the boniest leather jackets you have ever seen. one would have thought i probably lost my ps3 or my wii broke. but no, you left all too soon. and everyday i ask and ponder, is she really gone? are you gone, everything you accumulated in your existence is gone. tracy, this is just like the last line of pan's labyrinth, except you can be found everywhere i look. i see you everywhere and it hurts. i still miss you. theres going to be a meteor shower tonight, i hope you can make it. everything ive ever told you is the most honest i can ever be at the present time.